I really can’t even fucking believe it.

Let me not jinx anything because I’m an idiot, but now I know where his head is at.

So, I ran into him while I was coming out of the library. He asked how I was doing, I told him that he looked good in the color he was wearing. he cheesed hard and said, “you’re just trying to make me smile”.

Then he asked how I was doing, he said he was a little bored, but he was going to be starting school again soon. (I think he’s in a graduate program)

Then, he said and I quote, “this maybe a little inappropriate, but do you want to hang out some time?”

I can’t even remember how I reacted, but I was super shocked. I said yes, and asked him, “this weekend, next weekend”. He said “anytime”. 

My life is like a movie, I swear. BUT THE BALL IS IN MY COURT NOW, and I hate having that amount of “power”. I’m always talking about rejection, and how I fear it, but sometimes I’d much rather be rejected so I can be stagnant. 

Ughhhh. I should text him like soon. But I don’t want to be a pest. I talked to Ray about this crush, and he has been giving me some advice.

I’m still trying to figure out why he asked me, today, of all days. He’s intelligent as fuck, he probably figured me out. I’m uber (I can’t even use this word in school in that context anymore) excited…

Now, when will I have free time? Should I take a day or two off? What does he even want to do? Does he just wanna fuck? He seems to be the only man to ever straight up tell me that he thought I was intelligent, maybe he wants to pick my brain. 

He’s a man though, I know he wants to fuck. I need to be myself, though he knows me pretty well. He’s just pretty perfect and I really don’t want to fuck shit up. 

There’s a lot of risk involved on his end, so maybe I’d understand any apprehension that he may have. 

I wonder if he thought it out, or had been thinking of it. 

Sometimes good things happen, I just have to be confident.

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