Acting…

Sure, I’ll try it.

I can cry on demand (if I think of sad stuff)

I can make you feel bad (if I think of bad stuff)

I can fuck your friends (because you’re a loser).

Yeeaaahhhssss

Xanax

It is very easy to get a prescription for xanax in America…
and sometimes doctors write thee prescriptions in ways that allow the user to take a pill for any situation, and sometimes they don’t but they user will still use the meds for any situation they feel they need.

This causes people to become addicted to the medication. As someone who was prescribed xanax for 2 years, I can say that the ride is not a great one. you take a pill whenever you feel some type of way, and then you get used to that feeling it gives you. Now you don’t have the personal will to feel the disturbing anxiety. Instead of working through it, you become addicted to not feeling.

I was in rehab, not for xanax, but for molly and oxycodones. I was taking xanax at the time, but I wasn’t addicted because I’d be so fucked up that I’d take the entire bottle and forget that I took a pill. I never had the chance to be addicted because I would take so much and not have any for later.

So when I was in rehab, I would be in there with people coming off of benzos and they were a hot mess. they’d be in detox for weeks on end. They’d shit their beds, throw up all over the place, sweat their mother fucking balls off.

I talked to a nurse when I was there and I asked her what the toughest detox would be, she told me that benzos were the toughest because you could actually die when that happens.

But do doctors actually care about this tough detox when their patients actually have to face light and realize that this medication is not actually helping them deal with life? NOPE.

Pharmaceutical companies are getting the last laugh after this. They’re the ones raking in. And doctors are the medium allowing them to rake in on the addiction and death of their patients.

Fuck that shit.

Omg. I still fit into my size ones

Goddamn. I haven’t wore jeans since this summer and my ass got so fat.

It nearly fits, but I stuffed it into my size ones. I actually had to do shit today. Lol

But I had this weird 48 year old dude hitting on me on Instagram. Idk how the fuck he found me, but so gross. I was like No Boo. Stop right there.

I’m mother fucking 30 years old. You’re old enough to be my father boo. Stop yourself.

Old men need to stop their desperate ass shit. But funny, their way of hitting on people do not change from when they’re in their 30’s. Kinda funny.

This happens to me all the time…

I hook up with someone a few times, and I don’t feel attracted to them at all anymore.

So I stay away from them even through they’re hitting me up, but I come up with excuses why I can’t, instead of just being real and saying, hey… I don’t want to fuck you.

Not saying I never have a good reason to not want to sleep with said person, either lack of having an orgasm, etc. but I can’t ever find a way to tell this person that I don’t want to hang out with them because I don’t want to be put in the position to have to tell them no to sex.

Lol. I’ve been such a bitch. I’ve blocked mother fuckers out of no where, ignored their messages, etc.

I’m getting more comfortable with being alone. I’m the only mother fucker that can give myself an orgasm anyway. 😂

I’m a fucking douche canoe sometimes.

Uhhh

Fuck. I did a lot better than I thought. Fuck. Bitch. I’ll take a B average! Yes nigga!

I got every type of B. Lmao. But idk how I got a B flat in biochem. I fucked that shit up! But I’ll take it. Fuck it.

I think my attempt of the grad question might have helped me.

Fuck nigga.

I have 92 credits now… I think.

Why I Am Voting For Bernie Sanders…

In 2016, I went to vote (registered Green Party) for president. This should’ve been an easy decision… it was Hilary vs. Trump.

My issue was, I wanted goddamn Bernie Sanders on that ballot. He stood for everything I cared for. Free healthcare for all Americans, among other things.

But, I had a choice between two evils, and I really didn’t want to vote for Hillary.

I left DUTCHESS community college (my intro to chemistry course) to vote. I got to veterans park in Montgomery, and I got my ballot and I stood in the ballot box… for what seemed like forever.

I voted for Sean Patrick Maloney. And other democrats… but when it came to President… I just couldn’t knowingly vote for Hillary. But my mom’s voice in my head, “choose Hillary”

So after what seemed forever, I bubbled in Hillary and hoped for the best.

The next morning I woke up and realized, Trump won.

This time, I am not going to fight with myself. This time, I don’t care what, I’m writing in Bernie Sanders.

Bernie is what we need.

He has great plans, and I think aside from foreign policy, he is pretty clear in what he wants to do.

So this year, I will be working for the Sanders campaign. Going out and getting signatures.

Let’s change the status quo.

Impeachment

Oh god… here we fucking go…

This is what I think about impeachment…

I think democrats are lame, they don’t know what else to do and they wanna get him outta there without electing Bernie Sanders as their candidate.

They know the democratic base is with Bernie, still they stuff lame ass Joe Biden and Butt boy Buttigieg down our throats.

The establishment democrats are ruining our country.

I am going back to being an independent after I’m done voting and working with the Bernie Sanders campaign.

Mother fucker

Idk how I did it, but I got a 96 on my biophysical final. I think that puts me in B range. I will take a full B! I don’t give a damn

Now, for biochem, I know I bombed that final. I might still get a C… but holy fuck!

Yes bitch!

Soooo…

I’m moving! To a better house with professional mofos.

That’s my new house. Sissy that walk, whore!

With school, I won’t know my horrible grades until the 21st. I’m not even nervous because I know I didn’t do well.

I kinda went into the finals with a defeatist attitude, and I got what I deserved.

Next semester, I will switch things up. I will also have Max as a professor, so I’m happy about that. I love Max!

I can’t stop listening to Rupaul. Hahaha I love that bitch. So random, but her songs are catchy as fuck. You Betta Werk!

Speaking of Ru…

Me and the bitch that won drag race season 7 had a great convo. Lol I love violet Chachki! She was fearse!! Check out her death becomes her look.

Jaw dropping! She looks more like a woman than I do, and I was born that way, bitch! Lol

ok so next semester, I only signed up for 11 credits, so I needed to find something for 1 credit… dude… it’s so difficult to find anything. I am doing the ATA the teaching thing, but I am deadass so annoyed with the amount of emails they send, and why they send these emails to me when they should go to the class. I understand some of the things was important for me to know, but to the extent of getting finals announcements when the program ended two weeks ago, it’s a little fucking annoying now.

I’m so annoyed. It would save me from killing myself with FOUR 400 level courses, but idk. I might take physical chem lab (even though I didn’t want to take a lab)

Mother bitch! Fuck shit!

Seriously

I did shitty this semester.

I need to take a break over the winter and gather myself. Maybe figure out what classes I want to take (since 4 400 levels is just undoable.

Fuck. I’m disappointed, but hopefully I can get back to what I was doing before.

When I was 12,

I remember for a year that this girl’s mom used to pay me $5 to hang out with her daughter.

Lol this is fucked up, but Diana lives in our apartment building across the hall from us. (When I was a kid, we moved around a lot, but the last downsizing we did before moving to the house was in a 2 bedroom apartment in Yonkers). I can’t remember if Diana and I started going to middle school together or what, but I was hanging out with Diana at her mother’s urging.

Diana has a brother who had muscular dystrophy, but he obviously had a crush on me. Lol so idk if that’s how it started, but I also know that Diana didn’t have many friends.

For a year before we moved, I hung out with Diana. and one day when I moved, I called her and I said that I liked it here, she hung up on me and never called me again.

I didn’t think about it until now, Diana really felt alone, and she had no one but me and I moved and I was happy.

Good News!

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/12/03/kamala-harris-drops-out-of-2020-presidential-race.html

Another centrist is out of the race. We have three more to boot out before we get in there. I am really finding out that I am NOT a democrat.

I am an independent, and I should’ve stayed an independent, but I also want to vote in primaries. So whatever, I’m stuck.

The big one we got to get rid of is that lying scumbag racist Pete. And that shaky old hag Klobachar. They gotta fucking go.

If Pete wins, you might as well hand the White House back to Trump for another 4 years.

Transgender women competing in Women’s sports?

My problem is with some trans people’s blatant denial of biology.

When it comes to sports, there are reasons why sports are sexually-segregated between men and women. Men have a GENETIC/BIOLOGICAL advantage over women: muscle mass, bone structure, upper body strength, height… must I go on? There are advantages of going through male puberty. It’s like LeBron James playing in the WNBA. (That May be a little bit of hyperbole, but you get what I’m saying)

Those advantages don’t change; although you’ve transitioned to your correct gender. Let’s say in a very overexaggerated hypological example that every transgender woman in the US plays a sport. Trans women in women’s sports will end women’s sports as we know it!

Transgender Women are not women. They are Transgender women. Don’t get me wrong, I will still refer to a trans woman as she and her, and I believe that they are women everywhere but a few areas. The problem is, when you’ve grown up in a man’s body, you’ll always have physical, biological differences.

I am going on this rant because of Dr. Rachel McKinnon. She recently broke the women’s world record for cycling, and she is a trans woman. For cycling, there are a lot of advantages men have over women, smaller pelvises, etc.

She came under a lot of controversy, and her way of discussing this controversy is to call everyone that doesn’t agree with trans women in women’s sport as a transphobe. She says that there is NO biological difference between a trans woman and a natural woman. She says that there are no biological differences between cis women and cis men. The talk is fucking absurd!!

This woman has lost it, and honestly, I think the rhetoric from trans lobbyists has gotten her to believe these falsities. She wants to believe this because if she doesn’t, her accomplishments are invalidated.

Girl, even if you just raced and won, it wouldn’t be controversial… but you broke the world record!!! There is a difference. Your breaking of the world record further proves that trans women have advantages over naturally born women.

Soon, women that were assigned male at birth will hold all the records, while women are left in the dust. It really isn’t fair. That is why the Olympics has gender tests for their female athletes.

Ok, sometimes I think it’s pretty invasive.

Let’s look at the case of Caster Semenya, South African sprinter. She is not a trans woman, she’s actually intersex, (I don’t want to be insensitive since I don’t know a lot about intersex disorders, I watched a few you run videos and watched an Oprah show about it. Lol, Oprah is woke!) meaning her gender is ambiguous either physically, hormonally and/or a mix of 2 X and 1 Y.

From what I do know, some intersex people produce biologically “typical man” levels of testosterone. This is probably what is going on in Caster’s case, but I can’t say for sure.

What I do know is that she underwent a gender test, and her results showed that she was intersex and had high testosterone.

I guess she was told to lower her testosterone, and she wasn’t very fast and lagged behind.

In her case, I can say that I am not angry that she is beating everyone. She is a special human being (not saying that Tran women are not or anything), but she didn’t transition from one complete gender to the other. She is in the middle and has always been raised as or thought of herself as female.

This is a natural hormonal or whatever issue. I really don’t know what makes her intersex so I can’t say, but the fact that they made her lower her naturally produced hormone level, that is wrong.

That is the reason she is super human fast, and you’re taking her natural gift away. She didn’t choose this, and there’s an iconic picture of her trying to talk to the other women in the race after and it was very sad to see.

<img src=”https://img.huffingtonpost.com/asset/57b9bd4e1700002c00d201aa.jpeg“>

Anyway, transwomen have an unfair advantage and should not be allowed to compete in women’s sports. Sorry, but if you want to continue to deny that their are biological differences between the sexes, I cannot take you seriously.

More to come..

African/Americans

There’s a huge difference between Actual African Americans, and blacks.

My parents are African. They immigrated here (legally) when they were in their early 20’s. I was born in the US, in the Bronx.

The fact that I can trace my roots and my culture makes me different from American black people. I also think that American black people see me as different once they find out my nationality.

American blacks like to separate themselves from Africans. They don’t see themselves as African, and most don’t even care to trace their roots.

I hate to say that as time has past, I kind of differentiate myself from American blacks. Though our experience is more the same than it is different, they don’t want to call themselves African, and I will be African until I fucking die.

I am not better, nor are they better. We really are the same. The divide is something no one ever speaks about.

I wish I knew how to bridge that gap, but the more and more older Africans (Gambians, in my case) call American blacks “neggares”, the more divided we will be when we should be lifting each other up.

It’s come to a point where black people don’t even want to be called African American anymore. It’s sad.

I am African American.

More to come.